I'm Home

My last day was really good but really sad.  I said goodbye to Shefa'a and some of Tamara's family (most were in another town for family reasons).  I gave the gifts I made and got some gifts in return.  Motaz and I made the manager of my building give me the 50JD insurance money they promised and weren't going to give me.  That night I was able to suppress my crying and even it out on the plane ride.

Speaking of the plane ride, my one bag was overweight by like 10 pounds and it cost $150 to ship it to PA.  $150?!  I tried bargaining that price.. I said "100 shouldn't be a problem."  "It's 150."  "I'll give you 100."  "One, five, oh."   "Ok fine."   They promised me a good seat on the plane.

and YEAH I got a good seat, they moved me to 1st class!  It was like a whole world I've never discovered.  Reading lights in between the seats.. heavy comforter and pillow.. the chair moves in like 10 different ways, including sleep mode so it's like a bed.  "Will you be having the tender beef or the grilled shrimp for dinner?"  Appetizer, dinner, dessert, breakfast.  Personal TVs.  Socks, toothbrush/toothpaste, chapstick, sleeping mask, tissues.  Totally worth it, especially since it was 12.5 hours long.

Last day, learning how to wear this as a scarf

Mosab (one of Tamara's cousins) and me

Coming home is just so weird.  It's nice because you get to rediscover your culture all over again, but it's weird because you have to learn to get used to it. 

The traffic is so boring and so organized, hardly anyone is on the road. 

The air smells very nice and plant-like, and all of our houses have triangular roofs.

Everything is SO GREEN. 

Dollar bills look soooo short and long.... soooo weird.  I don't know them anymore.

People smile, including the news anchors. 

I danced in the parking lot because I can.  

I also stretched in public because I can.

I forgot how to use my phone, I had so much difficulty texting on it.  

Soooo much variety in food.  

Restaurants are just big chains.  

Clouds and rain!

Not everyone is brown and Arab.

Cliques.  

Country music.

Less interaction.  

SOOO many pet commercials!  Why do we have so many?!  It's now weird to me to treat dogs like humans.. I mean yeah they should be loved but don't overdo it.   

Ice cold drinks in HUGE cups.  

People act fake-happy here to seem friendly.  In Jordan they're just matter-of-fact.  

Ah.  So many things.  I move in to school tomorrow and I'm not ready.  I haven't caught up on my sleep yet and I'm not ready to go back to American interaction.   I miss Arabic coffee.  

That's all for this post I guess, if there are any more cultural tidbits that I notice, I might post again.  

:(

I leave tomorrow.  Tomorrow.  Not the day after... not even 24 hours from now.

I was with my friend today and he said "What are you feeling?"  and I said "Nothing actually.. I don't feel anything yet."

Then I got home about an hour and half ago, and it finally hit me that I'm leaving and now I can't stop crying.

Do you realize how many good things are here?  People here CONSTANTLY interact with other people.  They interact with people they don't know.  They interact with their neighbors, and they visit family all the time.  There are always people, and everyone here is sociable.  Nobody is afraid to meet new people.  Not one.  If you're lonely, just go to your neighbor's house.

I saw Shefa's aunt and cousins again today to say goodbye... it wasn't too bad until I was walking away and everyone was standing together with the same sad face, especially the kids.  "We will miss you Chiri.. come back.  Stay with us."   Then I was talking to Shefa' on the phone after I got back and she got silent for a few seconds.  Then I heard her cry.  :(

I'll miss making the mistakes like trying to say "How were your classes today?" but saying "How were your drugs today?"

I miss home but it really hurts to leave here actually.  Like a lot.  And since I always see colors, I see them now.  This is the best image I could find to match it.. it should be a little darker though.  It's weird because the placement of each color is accurate:

AND I think I mentioned that Dabke dance is probably now my ultimate favorite dance ever... Motaz sent me this link on my facebook.. I LOVE IT.

Watching that makes me feel better.  And the bus video.

My bags are soooooooooooooooo heavy.  I can't even lift them :(  Everything fits but weighs a TON.

That's all for now.. I'll be seeing everybody soon

Can't Sleep

It's currently 5:27 AM and I can't sleep at all.  I usually fall asleep around 6, 6:15 and sleep till like 3, but I have to get up around 10 tomorrow to go buy things.  Boy do I love getting up early... !

I figured I'd give a quick post.

I leave in 2 days.  Am I ready to go home?  Yes.  Will I come back?  I dunno.  Will I miss people here? Surely.  Do I miss people from home?  YES.  My friends are like gold.  My family is like gold.  My boss and coworkers are like gold.  I miss everyone a lot.  And MAN, I really miss baking bread!  I don't have an oven here, otherwise I'd make it all the time.  I can't wait to punch dough.  Then let it rise and punch it again.

My friend sent me this video about buses in Jordan.. sooooo funny and SO TRUE!






I have so many things to do and so little time.  I have to buy some gifts.  I have to say goodbye to people.  I have to make some gifts for people here, and I have to finish packing.  It's stressful.

I got my certificate from school.  Actually when I got it, it had the wrong score on it.  I said "Hey.. that's not my score, you need to print it out again."  He found my score and printed it.  Then on the second one, it said "Charisse Lensen."  Who is that?  I said "Hey.. that's not my name, you need to print it out again."  The third time was good.

So I keep pondering, and so many things amaze me.  I remember when I first got off the plane, I knew NOTHING.  I knew how to say "Hello, my name is Charisse," and a few numbers.  I knew so little about the culture.  I had never met Tamara's family before.  The cars, the streets, the buildings, the signs, the sounds, the weather, the stores, TV, the food... I couldn't picture any of it.

I feel like I know so much and so little at the same time.  I have so much more to learn about Islam and Muslims, but I know a lot more than I did.  Please everyone, don't think that Islam is that craziness you see on TV.  Extremists come in many religions, if not all, so don't associate the two.  That's a whole different subject.  Some of the greatest people I've ever met are Muslims.

It's also interesting to me that I've gone through so many different feelings and experiences, and God was there the whole time.  The best way I can describe it is that the Spirit of God is sitting right next to me as I'm watching an interactive movie in front of me.  That's exactly what it's like.  When I'm feeling crappy, I don't have to worry because He's just right there.  Plus he doesn't cut me off 5 seconds after I start speaking to Him.. something I've experienced too much and won't miss.

This whole trip is like a movie.  It's slow at the beginning, intense in the middle, ends all of a sudden and then you think, now what?  The movie's almost over.  Once it's done, it's done.  Then real life starts.

I don't think I've mentioned this story before but it comes to mind and I think it's interesting.

I was with some people when I was first getting acquainted with Jordan.  It was late at night, probably around 2 and I was really tired, plus I was getting yelled at a lot for not understanding and I just wanted to go home.  I said "God.. please.  I don't know who else to tell.  Please take me home."  Literally 30 seconds later my friend got a call telling all of us to come home.  


That's just the first time.  I was SO THANKFUL.  The second time, it was late again, and once again I was uncomfortable.  I told someone this time so I could say I tried on my part.  I said "Hey, I'm getting tired, I'll need to leave."  Nothing.  "No really, I'm falling asleep."  Nothing.  "God... PLEASE I sincerely want to go home.  I'm not comfortable right now."  This time it was like 20 seconds later and another phone call from the same person telling all of us to go home.  A second time??  Ha.. that's cool :)


And that's just the second time.  The third time, of course it was late again.  I was not comfortable.  We were all in the car and I told everyone, "I want to be home by 1."  I don't even remember what time it was, but it was so close to 1 and the person driving just stopped outside a restaurant.  I said, "Will we be home by 1?"  and every time I asked they said, "It's ok we'll get back soon."  What does that mean?  People don't just park for a few minutes.  So I prayed again and said, "God I know this is the third time, but I tried and it didn't do anything.  Please.. sometime really soon I want to go home."  It was seriously no more than 20 seconds later, ANOTHER phone call from the same person telling all of us to come home.  That's funny actually.  I had to laugh.      


God is so generous!  That was so nice, He didn't even have to listen to me.  Not a coincidence.  My prayers were all at different times, different days.  There were other days it was late and I was uncomfortable and didn't pray about it.  The calls were right after my prayers and on the days I prayed.  How gracious is that?  So much.  Thanks so much.  



Well it's 6:41 and I'm still not tired, so maybe I shouldn't sleep.  If I sleep for 2 hours, I might not wake up.  We'll see.  I'll try to post a few more times before I leave.

Family

I can put more updates later but in this post I just wanna talk about the family I visited yesterday.

I met with my language partner Shefa' on Monday and she told me that I should visit her aunt who lives in Amman.  She said I would sleep there too.  I agreed so yesterday I met her at the University and together we took a bus.

As soon as I got there, everyone was SOOOO welcoming!!  I felt so comfortable there, and everyone has a great personality.  It was one of the best times I've had in Jordan yet.

The family was together, everyone was interacting, everyone was SO NICE and fun, and nobody got mad at me for not understanding.  I used more Arabic in their house than I ever had this whole trip.  There were 3 kids, and I played checkers with the boy.  He and his sister helped me learn Arabic animals, plants, and other things from this one book.  He later gave me the book.. that was really sweet :)

Ramadan breakfast was sooooooooooooo nice.  It was such a great feeling to not be starving.  The food was delicious.  I don't know the name, but the main dish was potatoes, onions, red peppers, and chicken...  then there was rice, and another side of something green (don't know the name either) and noodle soup.  The white stuff in the glasses is yogurt.  Also there was a cooked thing with eggs, onions, and flour.... DELICIOUS.  Oh, and salad.  And bread of course.

For a Ramadan dessert, there's a treat called 'aTayef  (or qaTayef.. or gaTayef, whatever accent you want).  They look like empanadas, but they're sweet like crepes... there were 2 different fillings, one was like a yogurt-cream-cheese and the other one was a mixture of crushed things (nuts and sugar and other things I don't know.)  

AHHHHHH everything was just so good!  And everyone, including the kids, kept saying "Welcome, welcome!"  and "Everything in this house is yours!"  I think I drank tea 3 times, coffee twice, and hot chocolate once.  The kids are so great.  They talked to me a lot and so did everyone.  It was just great.  I came to Jordan for this.

Oh yeah, everyone has lights similar to these in their windows for Ramadan.. it's so nice.  Like Christmas lights almost.  

Well I have to get ready because I am eating Ramadan breakfast at Tamara's cousins' house so I'll update later :)  

Ramadan

Three things that I really admire about Ramadan is that everyone takes it seriously, it's done as a community, and it hasn't become a commercial holiday.

The purpose of a whole month of fasting from sunrise to sunset is so that people don't take food and water for granted, and exercise self-control.  Practicing self-control for a month builds character, and doing it every year also helps.   If you want to know more, click here or here.  

If these links aren't good or if you have better ones, let me know.

1.  Anyway, like I said, everyone takes it seriously.  Restaurants close.  Other shops close in the early evening too, and my street is currently 90% dead.  Everything is closed, and there are very few cars.  Before I was worried about everything being closed, but now I just think it's so admirable that they are.  Perhaps one might wonder, "What if someone wants to go shopping at night?"  Oh well.. it's Ramadan, you can put up with it, and I love that.  Everyone working in the stores during the day is sooooooo tired, they can barely stay awake and you can tell they're hungry.  It takes a lot of commitment, and people have the commitment to do it.  

2.  It's done as a community.  It's sooooo nice to see something done by everyone.  You can assume that everyone around you is doing it.  When the 7:30 PM call of prayer sounds, you know that almost everyone in the city is starting their first meal of the day with their families.  

If I were to want to eat during the day, I would have to do it in secret.  DEFINITELY not in front of people.  Even though there are a few who don't fast, to eat in front of people who are fasting is really disrespectful.  You'll get yelled at if someone sees you.  They're trying so hard to refrain from eating and drinking, and to drink a dewy, cold water in the heat of the day in front of someone would be so rude.  Have some courtesy.

3.  It hasn't become a commercial holiday.  Let's take Christmas for example.  

Christmas to most (but not all) people is about presents.  The media takes advantage of this.

Christmas is NOT about presents, and Christmas is NOT about buying things.  It's not even about the lights or trees, though those are nice.  It's about God's gift of salvation and Godly example through the purity of Jesus Christ to mankind.  That's a HUGE gift!  That's what the holiday is meant to be, a reflection of God's gift to us.  

So to reflect that, maybe our gifts should be like:

-Giving clothes and food to the poor

-Cleaning someone else's house 

-Cooking for someone

-Fixing something for someone

THOSE are gifts, and they mean more.  God's gift for us is deep, and we are able to do deep things for other people.  Even a single, simple gift is nice to give - not tons.  Don't let Christmas become a meaningless tradition.   It's about God and other people. 

Just imagine what Christmas could be.

That's what I like about Ramadan, that it still has its meaning.  So in conclusion, I really admire Ramadan because it's a serious thing, everyone does it together, and it's not commercial. 

So the other day my friend took me to a school where students display their art.  Look at some of these pictures.. they're all done by students and they're flawless.

Also, I took a calligraphy class yesterday and have wanted to do Arabic calligraphy for a while :D  He cut the pens himself in front of us, and the ink has a silk string in it.  

There are so many different types of Arabic calligraphy too.  Below, the red ink is the teacher's writing, the blank ink is my practice:

Here is my name in the same script:

I am also starting to feel really sad when I think about leaving.. all of a sudden I have about a week left.  I miss home, but I'm learning so much here.  I want to keep learning.  I want to keep speaking Arabic, and I really love the people I've met.  I love them so much.  How am I supposed to leave them knowing I might never see them again?  That's one of the worst feelings ever.   It took me about a year to feel normal after coming back from Argentina.

I also have NO idea how I'm going to get all my stuff home.. there's no room.   I've bought jeans and books and bulky things, and I already have 4 pieces of luggage to take home before those things.  *sigh*

Oh and one last thing.  I have to give lots of credit to my teapot.

I never knew a teapot could be so good for cooking pasta and straining the water, it's SO convenient, why didn't I do this before?  It is also my heating pad, and it works very well.  Thank you, teapot.  

Ok wait, this is the last thing.  Please pray for Tamara's cousin Motaz because he has a bad fever and is really sick to his stomach.  I don't think he's gotten better in the past week.  

That's all until next time :)  

Everybody's Leaving!

Well, Büşra left and I'm soooooooooo sad :(  Fortunately she made it home okay.

We were leaving our building at 4 AM, and I had some problems with curfew, as usual.

They usually say "If you need to be out later, just ask us before or call us and we'll let you in."  I tried that the next day telling them beforehand that I'd be an hour late.  They said, "NO.  The curfew is at 11."   ...Well obviously... that's why I'm telling you I'm going to be late.  Turns out the curfew on weekends is 12 anyway so they let me leave.

With Büşra, I told one of the ladies, "I'm taking her to the airport, can you let me in at around 5?"  She didn't understand, so I tried to tell her in Arabic, "I'm going with her..."  and she cut me off and said in Arabic "Noooooo"  and started pointing to her watch a bunch of times while saying things.   Ok,  I am not asking you if I can watch my best friend leave the country, I am telling you that I'm going with her now to the airport.  What I am asking is if you will let me back in.  Someone else explained that I need back in and another lady hesitantly agreed.  What will I do during Ramadan?!  I can't be in my building alone for 22 hours of the day.  I also can't sneak in or out my window because it has bars on it :(




My friends and I also took the final today, and it wasn't very appropriate because there was material on it from lessons we never learned.  I know I didn't do well, my friends say they didn't do well, and we all studied for hours.  Another teacher gave us the test so we're going to talk to the teacher who made the test tomorrow if he's there, Inshallah.




Well, three more of my friends are leaving tonight, and another few close ones leave this weekend.  It makes me sad.  But I pray they have a safe flight and make it home okay.




That's all for tonight I guess.. I have to figure out who I'm going to eat with if I decide to eat because there is NO way I am going outside at night alone on this street.  Too many laser stares and comments.  I'd rather be hungry than uncomfortable.

Pictures

Büşra leaves tomorrow :(  I'm going with her to the airport at 3:30 AM.  I hope that won't affect my final the same day...

I will miss her a lot.

Here's some random things for fun.

In Old Amman

Hahahaha... I LOVE the dancing animals.  I couldn't see where the camera was aiming so it's not the best video

Notice the billboard of the king

Leaving Jerusalem

Same

I don't know what this was called but it was soooo good.  Lamb, parsley, tomatoes, and onions.  I might be forgetting something.

Some of my friends at the Dead Sea

I went to a different church today and the whole sermon was in Arabic.  It was soooooooooo beautiful!  Just the sound of a pure native speaker is so perfect.  Afterwards I bought an Arabic-English Bible at the bookstore and some Arabic kids' books.... I'm so excited.  I will read them to my future children.


That's all for today.  I REALLY need to study.. I've been slacking.  Have a good night everyone :)